SHE COMES FIRST: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman by IAN KERNER, free PDF . The Premise of this book is simple: when it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man’s native tongue. As bestselling sex author Lou Paget has written, “Ask most women, and if they’re being honest, they will admit that what makes them hottest and come hardest is when a man can use his tongue well.”
But as with any language, in order to express yourself fluently, in order to make your subject sing and soar, you must be thoroughly acquainted with the rules of grammar and style.
One of my favorite books on the subject is the indispensable classic Elements of Style. I don’t think I would have made it through freshman comp, or survived college as an English major, without that slim, dog-eared paperback tucked away in my back pocket. In the able hands of authors Strunk and White, grammar was not simply made understandable and meaningful—it was made beautiful.
How to Read this Book
In Part I, The Elements of Sexual Style, you will be introduced to a powerful philosophy that will inform, if not dramatically alter, the way you approach sex and relationships. You will learn to:
- Dispense with “disinformation” and cultivate a true understanding of female sexuality
- Think clitorally, rather than vaginally; to focus on stimulation as opposed to penetration
- Postpone gratification without sacrificing pleasure
- Turn foreplay into coreplay
- Skillfully navigate the process of female sexual response and appreciate the role of the clitoris as the powerhouse of pleasure
- Develop a sense of awareness that will render the often elusive female orgasm knowable and tangible beyond the shadow of a doubt
We will also discuss important, often misunderstood, topics such as the “real” anatomy of the female genitalia, hygiene, safe sex, as well as the social and cultural context that informs the way we think and act regarding cunnilingus.
If Part I is the “why” of cunnilingus, then Part II, Rules of Usage, is the “how.” Here you will be introduced to proven oral techniques that will enable you to successfully take a woman through the entire process of sexual response, or what I’ve dubbed the “play process”— foreplay, coreplay, and moreplay.
Whereas many sex books are content to merely tell the reader “what” to do, it’s this author’s conviction that the “when” is just as important. It’s all in the timing, and to that end, Part III, Putting it Together, delineates clear routines for seamlessly integrating the techniques into a unified experience that will enable you and your partner to reach new erotic heights.
Peppered throughout the book you will also find illustrations, tips, exercises, interesting facts, frequently asked questions, as well as candid responses from some of the many men and women I interv iewed regarding sex, relationships, cunnilingus, as well as their own personal do’s and don’ts. Finally, at the end of the book you will find a series of appendices that address many relevant topics and specific situations.
Taken as a whole. She Comes First represents the most thorough treatment of the art of cunnilingus currently available, and will not only teach you everything you need to know in order to master the grammar of oral sex, but will also answer any questions you might have along the way.
By the time you finish this book, you’ll not only be thinking about sex from a new perspective, but there will also be nothing you won’t know about how to lead a woman to orgasm with your tongue time and time again.
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