Every day we try to cope with stress with the help of bad habits, but it helps badly. We want to change, but it is difficult to move from words to action. How to learn to make informed choices and achieve goals?
Run when you feel the fear, eat when hungry, these reactions have been inherited from ancestors in the process of evolution. However, modern man has the ability to choose and plan their lives. Psychologist Neil Fiore in the book “The Now Habit” gives instructions on how to awaken your “I” for an interesting and rich life.
Children under three learn very quickly. It is more convenient to crawl, but in a year they stand on the feet. Learn to speak is not easy, but even a foreign language is not a problem for a child. And all because the children are curious and not afraid to try something new.
Sometimes a huge interest in the world can lead a child to injuries and then loving parents set “safety limits”. It is important to understand that over time the boundaries should expand – the child grows and its capabilities too. Otherwise you risk to bring up socially helpless adult – which is afraid not to cope with the task, to be misunderstood or just to be ridiculous.
To re-awaken passion for life, you need to abandon stereotypes and connect unconscious impulses (sometimes “empty dreams”) with adult awareness of actions. As a result, you will be able to cope with any problem: stop smoking, defeat a serious illness, lose weight, finally start running in the morning and finish an important project — anything.
Tip: honestly answer the question:
What would you like to change in the life first of all if you knew that it will significantly improve its quality?
Make a choice
At the second stage, you already know what you intend to fight. Most likely, you have already tried to do it before, but for some reason you could not bring it to the end.
So, what now? Neil Fiore offers you an exercise that psychologists call the ” third chair method.” Imagine that you are an arbitrator: consider the conflicting points of view, follow your reaction to them and find a compromise. This way you will find the optimal solution.
Write thoughts of possible risks, tortures, advantages and consequences of the made decision in a notepad. When all points of view are reduced to a common denominator, accurately formulate the choice.
After that it will be much easier for you to push aside obstacles which seemed unremovable earlier from the way. Regularly spending several minutes for this exercise, you will be able to get rid of ambivalence in acceptance of difficult decisions what they concerned.
You’re not alone
On the way to the big goal you can expect :
- stress and fear;
- internal conflict and procrastination;
- depression and embarrassment;
Day after day, you must learn to recognize problems and find positive solutions, so you will adapt faster and easier to any circumstances. Even in moments when you think that you no longer have the strength, remember – you are not alone, someone is always ready to help you.
Take a deep breath-exhale, feel the moment “here and now”, try to relax and calm your mind. Just 1 minute of this exercise will help to survive the emotional storm, focus on the present and prioritize.
Long — term goals — to build a house, lose 20 kg, learn a new profession-require time and clear planning. Write down the approximate date when you want to achieve the desired result, and begin to move forward in stages. Think about what you can do today? After each stage, reward yourself and remember that the path itself is sometimes more important than the goal.
To awaken your inner strength you need:
- Understand the problem. This will help suggestive questions: from what three habits you would like to get rid of, to feel better? What three qualities could you strengthen to make life more interesting and successful?
- Weigh the pros and cons and make a final decision.
- Stop thinking about the bad and learn to think about the good.
- Become a superhero in your life who always goes to the goal and succeeds.