Do you ever say, or think to yourself, “I’m disappointed with myself; I thought I could do that, but I really blew it,” “I wish I felt better about myself,” or “I’m so mad at myself; I fall apart at the slightest criticism.” How about, “I’m so frustrated with myself,” “I’m my own worst enemy; I keep sabotaging myself,” or “I wish I could get myself to do that” (or stop doing that)?
Have you ever wondered how you got into this unpleasant struggle between “I” and “myself,” or how you can get out of it. You know that this struggle isn’t necessary, because you also have times when you are very pleased with yourself, satisfied with your decisions and actions. Both your failures and successes often result from the beliefs that you have about yourself, what is often called identity or self-concept.
The book that you have in your hands is a practical manual that can teach you how to strengthen the qualities in yourself that you like, and change the qualities that you don’t like, so that you can have a much better and more satisfying life.
1 Self-concept, Values, and Self-esteem
How a self-concept that is aligned with values results in self-esteem.
2 The Power of Self-concept
Why a good self-concept is a fundamental key to your success in life.
3 Elements of a Healthy Self-concept
The essential criteria that make your selfconcept work well.
Strengthening the Self
4 Changing Structure
Discover and improve the unique structure of your self-concept.
5 Changing Time
Make sure your self-concept functions well all the time.
6 Changing Content
Enriching and enhancing who you are, and what you can do.
Expanding the Self
7 Utilizing Mistakes
Your mistakes can make your self-concept stronger and more accurate.
8 Transforming Mistakes
Using mistakes to become even more of who you want to be.
9 Building a New Quality of Self-concept
Create an entirely new desired quality or attitude for yourself
Transforming the Self
10 Transforming an Uncertain Quality
Make a weak quality into a strong basis for who you want to be.
11 Changing the “Not Self
Resolving the problems caused by thinking of who you are not.
12 Transforming an Unwanted Quality
Change a negative attitude into the positive one that you want.
Boundaries of the Self
13 Discovering and Changing Boundaries
How to create inner boundaries that protect you more effectively.
14 Connecting with Others
How to be intimate, while retaining a strong sense of yourself.
Appendix: Perspective Patterns
About the Author